It was Kanan Devi’s Mahila Shilpi Mahal where I was first introduced to Anubha Gupta. She was like my elder sister – someone with whom I enjoyed being mischievous. 

But our relationship was not just limited to being partners in prank. There were so many things that she shared with me about her personal life and how she was exploited. Many of those secrets have been permanently etched in my memory card. Once a person is gone, I don’t see a point bringing out the skeletons from the cupboard. Neither do I want to whitewash anyone’s image.

As a child, Anubha-di was quite boisterous and naughty. She knew how to play drums and would often participate in drum parades in her para. But what I remember most about her was how she was an interesting blend of a gregarious and an introvert personality.

Truly speaking, I can’t judge her acting skills since I watched her on-screen at a very young age. When you are young, everything seems flawless to the eyes. She had acted in Satish Dasgupta’s adaptation of Bankim Chandra’s Anandamath. It had Sunanda Devi too in the cast. Another film I remember was Debaki Kumar Bose’s Bhagaban Srikrishna Chaitanya. The film had Suchitra Sen playing Vishnupriya while Basanta Choudhury had played Nimai. There was a character who pleaded with Nimai for his blessings. She played that character. Her acting in Debaki Kumar Bose’s Ratnadip was also worthy of praise. At that point of time, I was merely a kid. I acted alongside Anubha-di in several films thereafter.

Anubha-di and I shared a very close relationship. We were extremely mischievous. My lips curl up when I look back and remember how both of us would come up with different plans to irritate Uttam Kumar. If anyone entered his room for a chat, we would call the staff of our set and say: “Go and ask: ‘Utu, have you finished your meal?’ Then we would follow it up by saying don’t say a word beyond that one question”. We used to send one person after another to Uttam Babu's room during his meetings. Imagine what an irritant our prank would have been for him!

During Uttam Babu's shoot, we would sit close to each other and communicate by exchanging facial expressions. Uttam Babu used to get distracted by us and had to opt for retakes. One day, he gave seven NG shots. Irritated, he shouted: "Khoka-da, please send Madhu and Anubha out of the set". Then we were asked to leave the set. 

Those were the days of fun. During outdoor shoots, I never had to worry about food because I was certain that Anubha-di would take care of it. Once Anubha-di told me, "I have cooked chicken with coconut. Try and tell me how it tastes”. My first thought was that it would taste awful but I knew I would still have to eat it for her sake. However, it was delicious to taste.

When we went on an outdoor shooting to Allahabad, Anubha-di and I shared a room. Uttam Kumar and Supriya Devi stayed in the room next to us. Supriya Devi wasn't working in that film. But she used to accompany Uttam Babu. The room on the other side was allotted to Bikash-da (Bikash Roy). We used to climb to the rooftop and pick a handful of nayantara flowers, only to shower them through the skylight into Uttam Babu's room and announce, “Supriya, the gods have been pleased to see you take good care of your husband and sent you these flowers”. 

Uttam Babu always used to warn others, saying: "Don't let these two mingle with each other on the sets”. But we were not just mischievous on the sets. In fact, we were very protective about him too. When people demanded to meet Uttam Babu, it was we who put up a wall in front. We boldly marched ahead to bring the situation under control. When they demanded that they wanted to meet Uttam Babu, we turned down their request outright saying: "No, that's not possible". 

I would pretend to be serious and ask Anubha-di: "Is it possible to meet him?" 

Anubha-di would prompty say: “No, how can it be possible? He is probably taking a shower right now.”

We knew this answer would baffle them since they would wonder why he would take a bath at that hour in the evening. 

But Anubha-di would come quickly to the rescue and say: "Yes, after taking a bath, he will perform a puja and then sit to meditate". 

That would baffle them further and they would ask: "Does he perform a puja?" 

Anubha-di would not relent and then say: “Yes, of course! Each of his brilliant performances on the screen is a result of his worship. How would it be possible otherwise? So, he will be unable to meet you now. You all may leave. Good bye! Thanks to you all for visiting us. Madhu, say thank you to them”. 

I would follow her instructions and bid them goodbye.

That was how close we were. 

But whenever I begin to talk about Anubha-di, I can’t help not remember some incidents from her past life which she had shared with me. One of them was her marriage with footballer Anil Dey. Anubha-di's mother was his fan. Her father was a railway employee and he had to often travel out of station for his job. Once on returning home, he saw Anil Dey and asked, "Why does this man come here so often?" 

Anubha-di's mother’s reply was: “He is Anubha’s admirer and wants to get a chance to be with her”. 

But such leniency proved to be dangerous. He used to take her to drunken dens and Anubha-di was forced to drink as well. He was the one who forced Anubha-di to act in films. Anubha-di had no inclination of becoming an actress herself. Once success came her way, Anubha-di parted ways with Anil Dey and followed her own path.

Later, she fell in love with actor Rabi Ghosh. During those days, she wasn’t too keen on marriage. I remember she had told me: "We will remain friends throughout our lives". 

I had disagreed, saying: "Society will not accept that. You must get married”. Then after a period of time, they did tie the knot. But no one in his family accepted Anubha-di. That why her life wasn’t peaceful. The couple decided to live apart. But they had to return to their in-law’s place in Kalighat when there was a drop in income. 

Anubha-di had a lot of pent-up angst but never revealed anything to anyone. What haunts me a lot is that before she passed away, Anubha-di called me many times over saying that she wanted to tell me something. “Call me when Nirmal (Nirmal Kumar) is not at around”. 

But during that time, Nirmal stayed home for quite a few days at a stretch and didn’t go out to shoot. That's why I couldn't call her to find out what was the matter. 

The news of her sudden demise came as a bolt from the blue for us. Nilima-di, Manju-di and I were shocked. We never knew that she was so unwell. 

I have met Rabi Ghosh after she passed away. We have worked together too. But our conversations were never about Anubha-di.

Today when I look back, I remember Anubha-di with a lot of fondness. For me, she is an epitome of grit and poise. She remains in my mind as a person who had immense power to deal with pain and chose never to utter a word even when her heart was breaking.